This is really burning within me and Every day I usually blame myself and ask myself questions which I even can’t answer. Normally its every woman’s dream to perhaps maybe have an offspring of her own have that child that she can easily be sending out on errands,love and take care for,,show that mothers love and all that stuff,,
With me I usually feel like guilt or maybe the heavens have already judged me for the terrible act. I happened to join campus all the way from the village after a had themed schooling which seemed to be draining every cent from My parents pockets but eventually I managed to attract scholarship to campus and somehow My parents saw some hope in me.
Joining campus was a joy to everyone including I myself as the feelings of ‘freedom at last’ strongly filled my brains. It was not long before the first year that I was able to find myself whomever I thought was going to be my prince charming and as usual he promised heaven in my life taming up every inch of brains in my head and even made me to quit school to be his wife. I found myself in the estates of Lavingtone in one of the Mansions,He was working he was driving a cool benz and before I ever realized I was six months pregnant with his baby.
On the seventh month things took a terrible change in life. He began spending nights out claiming that he was held up at work,and soon it was turning to weeks. The mansion that we were living in turned out to be rented and I was during my eighth month of pregnancy that we were kicked out. I tried reaching him over the phone but all was in vain. I was left out in the streets and I had nowhere to turn to, mind you I was eight months pregnant with a baby whose dad had now gone off,,I gad never even known his workplace leave alone his friends,I had been so much been blinded by love that even his origin I had never even asked. It was the first time I was ever in a relationship.
I was never going to tell my parents about the pregnancy leave alone how I had already dropped out of school. I had even already been dropped out of the scholarship program as my school had also kicked me out of the system.
I ended up on the streets doing odd jobs worse still my days were drawing near,,soon it was time for me to deliver,the streets kid who were with me that day called one of them who helped me with my delivery and alas it was a baby boy!
My street friends had offered me all the care they could’ve afforded but somehow I felt kike that wasn’t my life. It was not so long as soon one lady introduced me to harlotry,,,,At first I had that zeal to provide for my baby with time,,I had managed to rent myself a shanty in the slums. Then came this month that things seemed to be so tragic, a fight broke out between me and one of the ladies who thought that I was taking their clients and my arm was badly injured I gor back to my house that day in pain and my baby was wailing out of hunger,,, I felt bad,, I packed the few things I had and left leaving the baby in the house.
I had saved enough to leave the city as I opted to ho and seek aid from primary schoolmate of mine who had a Beauty Salon in Nyeri,,,,I left without my son then thinking it was the best thing to do but with each day I feel like the guilt is washing me. My parents back at home are patiently waiting for my graduation as it has been three years since I last spoke to them. How am ever going ti tell them that am not in school leave alone my baby who till today I never know its whereabouts as I had once travelled back to the slums and found the place totally transformed with apartments everywhere,I never even saw any familiar face around. I just hope wherever my baby is,,,he is fine
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